Writing Chain: "If I Could Go Back In Time" by Class 25

Writing Chain: "If I Could Go Back In Time" by Class 25

This is an essay about what I(we) would do if we could go back in time. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, because everyone has a different period of their life that they want to go back to. Also, the conclusion was a bit sudden, so I changed it by putting it together with another paragraph. However, the form of writing did not change throughout the essay. I think I would have divided the essay into what I would do as a baby, in kindergarten, and in elementary school instead of talking about age 5 and age 8. Overall, it turned out to be a bit crazy, but it generally keeps with the main theme.

     If I could go back in time, I would like to go back to when I was only a little kid and life my life all over again. I have made many mistakes in my life, and some of them are so horrible that I feel like I have to correct them. In addition, when I was little, I was unable to appreciate all the blessings I had as a child. I just took it all for granted. Only now, I see how naive I was. I want to go through my childhood again, really appreciating how much I had.
     Specifically, I want to go back to Age 5. Even though we had to go to kindergarten, we did not really study. We played every day and raised little animals such as rabbits. When I was in kindergarten, I once broke a very expensive glass cup by accident. I was jumping on a desk, but I slipped and knocked the glass to the floor. I was very sorry to my parents, and I think that if I had been more careful, it would have never happened. This is only one of the things I want to correct, though.
     Another age I want to go back to is age 8, when I first started going to elementary school. I did not participate well in my classes, because at that time, I didn't care much about my scores. Our class teacher was a very nice and intelligent teacher, and she always read books. If I could have a chance to go back, I really want to talk with her again.
     During this camp (GLPS), I have had many chances to compare myself to other top-level students. Before, I did not have any chances to compete with such smart students. Now I generally know what level I'm at, but I think it is a bit too late to try to catch up. If I could go back, I would study various subjects, such as math, English, and science much harder. Before, I was too stupid to realize that I needed to study and only cared about having fun.
     There is a saying that goes like this: "No one is perfect, and neither are you." I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. However, there are just too many mistakes that I have made, and whenever I think about them, I feel like a troublemaker. If I could go back, I would fix some of my big mistakes, appreciate my blessings and study harder - in short, I would be a smarter, more mature kid. From now on, we must live our lives to the fullest so that we would not regret this period of life in the future.

My Opinion: I think this essay, overall, was a very good essay. I had to change some of the pharagraphs' places and there were a lot of grammar mistakes, but after they were corrected, it turned out to be a decent piece of writing. The only thing that is a bit strange is that it talks about just 2 specific ages, not large periods of life. Apart from this, I like this essay very much.